The Lollaboard's Favorite Movies of 2017 - Results

[Xamnam]

#1. Get Out - 464 points
#2. The Shape of Water - 406 points
#3. Blade Runner - 388 points
#4. Lady Bird - 380 points
#5. Phantom Thread - 341 points
#6. Star Wars the last jedi - 326 points
#7. Three Billboards - 303 points
#8. The Big Sick - 298 points
#9. Call Me By Your Name - 291 points
#10. Dunkirk - 276 points

#11. Good time - 262 points
#12. I Tonya - 254 points
#13. Baby Driver - 253 points
#14. The Disaster Artist - 230 points
#15. Logan - 189 points
#16. The Florida project - 162 points
#17. John Wick 2 - 158 points
#18. The Lego Batman Movie - 144 points
#19. Thor: Ragnarok - 144 points
#20. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - 123 points
#21. The Square - 120 points
#22. Spider Man: Homecoming - 117 points
#23. Ingrid Goes West - 110 points
#24. IT - 106 points
#25. Logan Lucky - 106 points
#26. The Killing of a Sacred Deer - 106 points
#27. Coco - 83 points
#28. War for the Planet of Apes - 78 points
#29. Loveless - 77 points
#30. Mudbound - 67 points
#31. Wind River - 67 points
#32. Wonder Woman - 63 points
#33. I Am Not Your Negro - 62 points
#34. Raw - 59 points
#35. The Post - 59 points
#36. The Beguiled - 55 points
#37. Split - 50 points
#38. mother! - 49 points
#39. Colossal - 47 points
#40. Lost City of Z - 47 points
#41. Icarus - 43 points
#42. Kedi - 43 points
#43. LA 92 - 40 points
#44. The Meyerowitz Stories - 37 points
#45. Brigsby Bear - 36 points
#46. Columbus - 36 points
#47. Kong: Skull Island - 36 points
#48. Molly's Game - 33 points
#49. A Ghost Story - 31 points
#50. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - 30 points

[Deleted]

Really hope no.1 isn't Tame Impala.

[Xamnam]

Some interesting pre-release facts:

• Only one film rated below 70% on Rotten Tomatoes, at #38
  
• Most highest rankings: Doso, with 6.
• Biggest gaps: 1-2: 58 points, 14-15: 41 points
• Number of disparaging references to Hillary Clinton by Armond White: 2.5
• Movies with only one #1 vote: Baby Driver, Coco, Good Time, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Shape of Water, The Square, Three Billboards.
• Movies with only one point: Casting JonBenet, Personal Shopper, War Machine

[Xamnam]

#50. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
Total points: 30
RT Rating: 76%
Highest List Rating: #15 - cosmo



"Excitement! Suspense! Childlike innocence! Ingeniously staged action set pieces! These are a few of the things you will not find, anywhere, in “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.”" – Owen Gleiberman, Variety

#49. A Ghost Story
Total points: 31
RT Rating: 91%
Highest List Rating: #7 - munkivelli



"Will you, perhaps, just nod in agreement at Lowery’s self-evident affection for Tsai Ming-liang movies? Or will you ponder what character depth is actually being communicated by watching a long scene of someone emotionlessly binge-eating a pie?" – Sam C. Mac, Slant

#48. Molly's Game
Total points: 33
RT Rating: 82%
Highest List Rating: #11 chvrchbarrel



"Molly’s Game is a movie for those suckers who really do believe we are experiencing “the golden age of television.” Sorkin flaunts so much TV-style verbiage that Molly’s descriptions of what we already see render the film visually redundant. Action, characterization, and atmosphere — the things that made classic gambling films from The Shanghai Gesture to The Bay of Angels and California Split so exciting — don’t register." – Armond White

#47. Kong: Skull Island
Total points: 36
RT Rating: 75%
Highest List Rating: #10 - neader



"These contemporary bread-and-circuses movies are no different from what the classical poet Juvenal described as the attempt by the failing Roman Empire to furnish its citizens with meaningless escapism. Neither Kong: Skull Island nor Contemporary Color is edifying for the Millennial audiences who might support them." – Armond White


#47. Columbus
Total points: 36
RT Rating: 98%
Highest List Rating: #9 - munkivelli



"Despite Richardson and Cho's assured performances, their characters, dialogue, and relationship are never fully believable. From the unlikely gesture that begins it — a contemporary young woman offers a cigarette to an older male stranger — their connection feels contrived." – Mark Jenkins, NPR

[andrewvb]

nice, columbus was good

[munkivelli]

I repped the bottom 5 pretty well...lol

[Xamnam]

#47. Brigsby Bear
Total points: 36
RT Rating: 81%
Highest List Rating: #4 - totally



"McCary’s film, instead, takes the sugary-sweet crowd-pleasing route, with even the barest hint of grimness batted away like a pest distracting us from the march toward the inevitable final scene of mass hand-clapping affirmation." – Kenji Fujishima, Paste


#44. The Meyerowitz Stories
Total points: 37
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #7 - llamaoftime



"Aspiring to its snideness is no different from protecting Weinstein’s prominence and influence. Baumbach puts the rotten “secrets” of Hollywood and the media world on display, yet almost no one in the critical constabulary will dare criticize it for fear of losing prestige, scared of having to look inside only to be repulsed — like the Meyerowitz crybabies — at seeing their own classist, racist, tribal mediocrity." – Armond White


#43. LA 92
Total points: 40
RT Rating: 91%
Highest List Rating: #7 - goodson



"LA 92 uses similar footage but denies us the people’s actual voices, instead layering on terse, mounting string music. The filmmakers are all too eager to sacrifice real human drama for movie-style suspense." – Alan Scherstuhl, The Village Voice


#42. Kedi
Total points: 43
RT Rating: 98%
Highest List Rating: #6 - doso



"There is disappointingly little in the way of historical and cultural context to help explain the role of cats in Istanbul’s urban fabric. Nor does the filmmaker address much of the social and political upheaval that this megacity is currently undergoing, save for a few brief allusions to overdevelopment and the diminishing amount of green space." – Vanessa H. Larson, The Washington Post


#42. Icarus
Total points: 43
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #12 - chvrchbarrel



"Icarus contributes to a growing list of feature documentaries tailored to stoke the flames of our punishing political news cycle; in this case, the Putin angle consistently wedges its way into the film with seemingly random footage of the Russian president walking with colleagues or shooting some mean side-eye." – Clayton Dillard, Slant

[Xamnam]

#40. Lost City of Z
Total points: 47
RT Rating: 87%
Highest List Rating: # 7 - bitteorca



"So what makes that cliché unendurable this time? Any sentient moviegoer this past decade has noticed the steady decline of movie craft into TV triteness and incomprehensible narratives. Gray, like the obsessive Fawcett, attempts to create a genre of inspiration and marvel without a basic understanding of how to achieve either." – Armond White


#40. Colossal
Total points: 47
RT Rating: 80%
Highest List Rating: #10 - doso



"It’s a psychotic self-projection that imitates her grade-school sandbox antics in the streets of Seoul, South Korea, killing innocent citizens because . . . well, men are bad. Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) is the latest victim of Gloria’s man-hatred (she even attacks him physically as if feminism endorses assault and battery by women). All this movie lacks is handing out pink pussy hats to brain-dead ticket-buyers." – Armond White


#38. mother!
Total points: 49
RT Rating: 69%
Highest List Rating: #2 - cosmo



"But an obsessive filmmaker doesn’t necessarily rise above schlockmeister status. Aronofsky’s mania for various tribulations never finds a higher meaning, and his emphasis on female discomfort (Lawrence looks zombified, both clueless and hypersensitive) makes him the perfect filmmaker for the Hillary Clinton era. " – Armond White


#37. Split
Total points: 50
RT Rating: 75%
Highest List Rating: #7 - Xamnam



"It’s the only explanation that makes sense: A large number of people have such an inexplicable urge to "forgive" M. Night Shymalan for his lame non-thrillers like After Earth and The Last Airbender that they're going overboard with their enthusiastic effusions now that he's returned to the genre." – Matt Brunson, Creative Loafing


#36. The Beguiled
Total points: 55
RT Rating: 78%
Highest List Rating: #4 - goodson



"Instead, Coppola once again relies on her own social and gender status, pretending to observe the war between the sexes, with cannons booming in the distance. She ought to have known that her over-obvious point was already made better by the New York Dolls song “Who Are the Mystery Girls?”" – Armond White

[Deleted]

woah i never even heard about Colossal. the hell

[andrewvb]

i would say i enjoyed colossal but it really was a mess

[munkivelli]

Mar 2, 2018 10:14:55 GMT -6 @wretched said:

woah i never even heard about Colossal. the hell

It's a fun movie...woulda made my top 50 for sure, but not quite my top 30..

[Xamnam]

#35. The Post
Total points: 59
RT Rating: 88%
Highest List Rating: #5 - doso



"Spielberg looks to that turning-point event because the past is the source from which today’s leftist sanctimony — and particularly the media’s maddening “resistance” posture — claims its validity. All of today’s social-justice movements — Black Lives Matter, fourth-wave feminism, the transgender-equality brigades — derive their sentimental impetus from the memories of halcyon protest and counterculture dissent that transformed America." – Armond White


#35. Raw
Total points: 59
RT Rating: 90%
Highest List Rating: #9 - sthubbins



"The curious thing is that, as with many big-budget horror flicks, this small French-Belgian movie feels too pleased with its own outrage; the grosser it grows, the less interesting it becomes. When the carnage was over, I went out and had a steak." – Anthony Lane, The New Yorker


#33. I Am Not Your Negro
Total points: 62
RT Rating: 98%
Highest List Rating: #2 - scoots



"Baldwin’s eloquent alarm (“My countryman is my enemy”) now gets exploited to bolster popular misunderstandings, despite how black conditions have changed since Baldwin wrote. Narration by former president Obama would probably refract those changes and misunderstandings. And who could better narrate a film that misappropriates Baldwin’s life work under the title I Am Not Your Negro?" – Armond White


#32. Wonder Woman
Total points: 63
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #11 - Timbo



"Unfortunately, Diana’s “god-killer” question lacks resonance and exposes contemporary faithlessness — unlike Snyder’s visionary films, derived from folkloric belief and Christian notions of sacrifice and redemption (which occasionally made Sucker Punch awesome, stirring pop art). Snyder’s mature perspective is traded for women-warrior scenes in Themyscira that replace 300-style sensual intensity with the near-camp of butt-kicking female toughness." – Armond White


#31. Wind River
Total points: 67
RT Rating: 87%
Highest List Rating: #3 - scoots



"A closing credit worries about how Native American women are victims of abuse. Showing such abuse in graphic detail is the kind of cynical ploy found in B-movie revenge thrillers. No matter how hard Sheridan tries to dress up Wind River, it remains cheap, ugly exploitation." – Daniel Eagan, Film Journal International

[munkivelli]

Raw was my #31, so i am happy to see it here

[andrewvb]

raw got robbed

[Xamnam]

There's definitely a lot on this list I am going to go out of my way to go see now.

[irvred]

Mar 2, 2018 10:14:55 GMT -6 @wretched said:

woah i never even heard about Colossal. the hell

I really liked it but my gf hated it. Regardless of whether you like it or not, that Armond quote is ridiculous.

[Xamnam]

Mar 2, 2018 10:24:33 GMT -6 irvred said:

Mar 2, 2018 10:14:55 GMT -6 @wretched said:

woah i never even heard about Colossal. the hell

Regardless of whether you like it or not, that Armond quote is ridiculous.

Dude, strap in. 

[irvred]

I mean, yeah... But still.

[Xamnam]

#31. Mudbound
Total points: 67
RT Rating: 96%
Highest List Rating: #8 - andrewvb



"Mudbound typifies a new kind of unpleasant entertainment based on social-justice homilies. This cultural phenomenon is interesting only because it dramatizes the self-abnegation that politicians, editorial writers, and sanctimonious filmmakers like to use to shame folk into accepting progressive policies." – Armond White


#29. Loveless
Total points: 77
RT Rating: 93%
Highest List Rating: #4 - bitteorca



"The search for Alyosha takes us through top-shelf metaphorical imagery — crumbling institutional architecture, a child’s brutalized corpse — but it’s clear early on that this isn’t going to be the kind of film where anyone gains any insight. They’re all hopeless cases. The question is, do Zvyagintsev and Negin think the same of us?" – Emily Yoshida, Vulture


#28. War for the Planet of the Apes
Total points: 78
RT Rating: 93%
Highest List Rating: #9 – sick2b



"But Reeves’s story ends up echoing a very old one—essentially, Moses leading his people out of bondage and into freedom—without weaving in any nuance. War for the Planet of the Apes is an epic, to be sure—but an epic slog." – David Sims, The Atlantic


#27. Coco
Total points: 83
RT Rating: 97%
Highest List Rating: #1 monasterymonochrome



"That said, “Coco” feels like the kind of cultural appropriation we still dread from Disney: well-intentioned but highly reductive. “Coco” makes sure to cross every item off its Mexican checklist — tamales, sombreros, a shot of what looks like tequila — but that’s not the same as immersing us in a culture." – Rafer Guzman, Newsday


#26. The Killing of a Sacred Deer
Total points: 106
RT Rating: 79%
Highest List Rating: #6 - cosmo



"Martin is an abstraction, the embodiment of an occult principle of cosmic vengeance, and Mr. Keoghan makes him appropriately menacing and also pitiable, since he’s also a grieving, needy child. This incongruity is the key to the movie, but it’s the key to an empty box. You will suffer in vain." – A.O. Scott, The New York Times

[llamaoftime]

not looking back at the lists and having done zero calculations, my guess for number 1 is get out only because i feel like everyone had varying number 1s and 2s but everyone had get out very high and everyone saw it

[Deleted]

You should have included a rango quote for War for the Planet of the Apes.

[Xamnam]

Mar 2, 2018 10:33:31 GMT -6 scoots said:

You should have included a rango quote for War for the Planet of the Apes.

Jul 18, 2017 20:26:30 GMT -6 rango420 said:

Apes is so boring

[Xamnam]

#26. Logan Lucky
Total points: 106
RT Rating: 93%
Highest List Rating: #10 - Timbo



"If Steven Soderbergh is not the most overrated movie director of all time, he is right down there on the list from hell, jockeying for position" – Rex Reed, New York Observer


#26. It
Total points: 106
RT Rating: 85%
Highest List Rating: #6 - cosmo



"...the characters are one-dimensional, and Andy Muschietti’s relentlessly perky direction doesn’t help. The movie is not terrifying but blandly edifying; its scares, foreshadowed as if by telegram, are delivered less effectively than its life lessons." – Richard Brody, The New Yorker


#23. Ingrid Goes West
Total points: 110
RT Rating: 85%
Highest List Rating: #7 – neader, chvrchbarrel



"This could have made for a scathing, pitch-black comedy, especially as set up by that opening scene, but Spicer never goes there. “Ingrid Goes West” is a depressingly predictable movie, which is a problem when it’s about an essentially unhinged woman. It’s a film that takes few risks and feels safe instead of scathing." – Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com


#22. Spider-Man: Homecoming
Total points: 117
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #6 - Totally



"The Marvel reboot Spider-Man: Homecoming is such a blatantly calculated example of pop-culture inoculation — it presents a teenage Peter Parker’s apprenticeship to the Avengers clan of superhero misfits — that, maybe, it warrants the same wariness as the vaccination controversy. With movies such as Spider-Man: Homecoming, Hollywood injects banality into young and gullible viewers; it places them on a cultural version of the autism spectrum." – Armond White


#21. The Square
Total points: 120
RT Rating: 82%
Highest List Rating: #1 – sick2b



"In The Square, Ostlund instead mocks modern Sweden’s open-borders ambivalence. The film’s cool, sleek look simulates the antiseptic environment of an art gallery, which is part of Ostlund’s canny insight into how the ruling class uses art as prophylaxis — to protect itself from being disturbed by its own contradictions, such as Sweden’s fabled neutrality." – Armond White

[Xamnam]

#20. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Total points: 123
RT Rating: 83%
Highest List Rating: #10 - teekoh



"Like some of the canned music (Fleetwood Mac, the Electric Light Orchestra), the movie’s visual design gestures toward the past but mostly comes across as a generational yearning for such memories. Perhaps like some directors, Mr. Gunn fondly or regretfully looks back on a time when studio filmmakers could more or less do their own thing cinematically." – Manohla Dargis, The New Yorker


#19. Thor: Ragnarok
Total points: 144
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #8 – Wretched, teekoh



"Even if his touch is a tad lighter, like Gunn, he sends up the flare every other minute: “Hey, this is a movie based on a comic-book! It’s supposed to be fun! Let’s not take any of it too seriously!” These are increasingly elaborate approximations of fun rather than the real thing. Meanwhile, the studio’s money — in this case, it’s that of Walt Disney Pictures — is splashed resplendently on the screen. The meter is running every minute, and don’t you forget it." – Stephanie Zacharek – Time Magazine


#19. The Lego Batman Movie
Total points: 144
RT Rating: 91%
Highest List Rating: #7 - doso



"Of course, if I wanted to spend a morning with a narcissistic grumpy billionaire who claims he and he alone can bring law and order to the world while bragging incessantly about his accomplishments, I could have simply skipped the screening and turned on any cable news channel instead. Although Batman scores points for often beat-boxing rather than tweeting his self-praise." – Susan Wloszczyna, RogerEbert.com


#17. John Wick: Chapter 2
Total points: 158
RT Rating: 89%
Highest List Rating: #5 - irvred



"But those rules are a lie just as pernicious as the myth of the good guy with a gun, the foundation of the whole shoot-’em-up genre. More often, the story of those who use force to gain control is a different one, one Chapter 2 quietly repeats over and over again, to the point of numbness. You know how it goes: You’re bleeding out on the floor, having long since surrendered, watching someone slowly turn your own gun against your forehead." – Matthew Dessem, Slate


16. The Florida Project
Total points: 162
RT Rating: 96%
Highest List Rating: #2 - iasm



"This juvenile emphasis exposes Baker’s dishonesty; it’s classic liberal patronizing to regard poor folk as children. When the do-gooder motel manager Bobby (Willem Dafoe) criticizes Halley, she screams, “You’re not my father!” — implicitly blaming patriarchy for her slatternly behavior. When Halley dislodges her sanitary napkin and throws the bloody item at Bobby, she evidently earns Baker’s admiration for being a Nasty Woman." – Armond White

[Xamnam]

#15. Logan
Total points: 189
RT Rating: 93%
Highest List Rating: #4 - Teekoh



"The great political movies of our time are yet to be made, and they will come. Logan, by either luck or prescience or some combination of both, feels political, but it’s really just business as usual in the comic-book-movie game. It sounds the alarm about how dark the world really is, as if we were incapable of reading between the panels on our own." - Stephanie Zacharek, Time Magazine


#14. The Disaster Artist
Total points: 230
RT Rating: 91%
Highest List Rating: #6 - Timbo



"The scene of showbiz insiders enjoying Wiseau’s big-screen debacle is as false as anything in I, Tonya because it essentially celebrates decadence. Laughing at unfortunate folk is the hallmark of our despoiled culture. It demonstrates Hollywood professionals’ class-based hatred — specifically, for Americans unlike themselves." – Armond White

#13. Baby Driver
Total points: 253
RT Rating: 93%
Highest List Rating: #1 – Xamnam



"Or have we been Occupied, Antifa’d and Fergusoned so harshly that the young generation Wright addresses enjoys only the shock of violence and no longer cares about the cultural heritage based on those non-Tarantino virtues: connection, respect, obligation, civility, and love?" – Armond White


#12. iTonya I, Tonya
Total points: 254
RT Rating: 89%
Highest List Rating: #2 - Timbo


"The makers of I, Tonya laugh at other people’s ugliness while enjoying it. Robbie’s desperate grinning during the awesome triple-axel skating events (filmed with a whirling steadicam and digital effects) becomes a symbol of the film’s hopelessness. She recalls other anxious TV iconography like Stephen Colbert’s hostile smirk or Hillary Clinton’s grating attempts at humor. These expressions, fully endorsed by the unprincipled filmmakers, convey the same contempt that targets some Americans as “Deplorables.”" – Armond White


#11. Good Time
Total points: 262
RT Rating: 92%
Highest List Rating: #1 - goodson



"This interpretation problem is local, but it might as well be global. That’s what Abdi’s performance illustrates. He’s part of America’s new, open-borders class of replacement workers. Immigrants who, given political preference, have climbed over the backs of slave descendants and earlier migrants (such as Connie’s pothead teenybopper hook-up), yet who still become part of a criminal underclass." – Armond White

[thebosma]

Armond White reminds me of a particular individual on this board but I can’t quite put my finger on who

[sthubbins]

"other anxious TV iconography like Stephen Colbert’s hostile smirk or Hillary Clinton’s grating attempts at humor." lmao armond

[Xamnam]

"I thought I was Kane in this life. What was I before? Was I you? Were you me?"

[sthubbins]

also florida project robbed

[sthubbins]

"Or have we been Occupied, Antifa’d and Fergusoned so harshly that the young generation Wright addresses enjoys only the shock of violence and no longer cares about the cultural heritage based on those non-Tarantino virtues: connection, respect, obligation, civility, and love?"
i was going to say "this is peak armond" but i know it'd get topped before long